


Happy Birthday, Cowboy

by naitomeatori



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-10 00:47:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15279897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naitomeatori/pseuds/naitomeatori
Summary: Hanzo takes McCree to a restaurant that shouldn't exist, and gives him the best (belated) birthday present in the world.





	Happy Birthday, Cowboy

**Author's Note:**

> PSA: NO Texas Roadhouses aren't like this. I had an idea and made it happen and I have a list of excuses as to why this could be true at this point in the future (rich people wanting an "authentic" experience even if it's dangerous, is the one I'm going with for now). I'm not open to critique so please don't give it. This was just a fun thing I wrote for myself but thought it would be nice to share. Have fun!

“Jesse, what is this?” Hanzo Shimada picked up a small disk in a case, holding it up to show the other man. They had been traveling together for quite some time, but Hanzo had never noticed the disk in the other’s belongings.

“That? I found it at a store today. I didn’t have ta pay much for it, and I haven’t had a minute ta watch it. Old man told me it had footage of a western restaurant on it, so I wanted ta see about it.”

“A western restaurant? As in, one where the waiters wear cowboy hats and there is a robotic bull for people to ride?” Hanzo knew all about themed restaurants, especially the western themed ones.

“Well, I don’t actually know. Truth is, I’ve never been in one. You’d think that around New Mexico there would be all kinds of ‘em, but I ain’t never even seen one. I used ta have these videos of this one, it was my favorite.”

“Which one is that?” Hanzo wasn’t sure how McCree would have a favorite restaurant without ever having been to one, but he had learned to not question the other man.

“Texas Roadhouse. They went out a business when I was a kid, so all I have is the commercials and home videos from the internet. Kind a wish I could’ve been around ta go ta one.” McCree leaned forward in his chair, putting a hand under his chin. “I think if I had one wish, and anythin’ was possible, I’d wish ta go to one a them.”

“Is that so?”

Hanzo turned the disk over in his hand, thinking about how the other man had been visiting the ghost of a once-popular restaurant vicariously through videos. That would be his one wish, he had said, to go to a Texas Roadhouse. It was a simple wish, but not something that was easily done. Hanzo knew there was only one way to proceed here.

“Jesse, what if I told you that I knew where one of those was? One that was still running, I mean. Would you go there with me?”

“Go with you? Absolutely. I know there ain’t one, but if you took me ta one I’d be on that. Why?”

“Because I do know where one is. I’ve been there several times. It is the only one left in America, I know. I could take you there.”

“There’s really one still here?” McCree couldn’t believe that, but he knew Hanzo wouldn’t lie to him over that. The most unbelievable part was that he said he had been there, several times. He had said he liked westerns, but he knew that there was no way they could be talking about the same thing here. The other man had to be talking about some western sake bar, or something.

“Yes. When is your birthday?”

“November 29th, why?”

“That is a while from now. We can always lie about it.”

“What are ya goin’ on about Han?”

“Nothing. Pack your things, I want to leave for Florida in the morning.”

 

***

 

“You really weren't lyin’.” McCree stood in front of the last Texas Roadhouse, which was lit up with upgraded neon lights and oblivious to the fact that it was the only one in the world.

“I would not lie to you. Come inside.” Hanzo led him in the door, holding his hand so he could still walk as he looked at everything. McCree took it all in, silently pointing to the decorations and getting increasingly more excited while they waited at the hostess station.

“Howdy Mr. Shimada! Just two?” The young hostess was there in an instant, menus already in her hand.

“Howdy. Yes, I have brought this one with me.” He looked toward McCree, who was looking past them and into the dining room with a huge smile. “It is his birthday, and he has never been here. He is a professional cowboy, so this is exciting for him.”

“Oh...” The hostess smiled at him, grabbing a couple rolls of silverware. “I will definitely let your waitress know.”

“Much appreciated.”

The hostess took them to a seat, giving them a booth along the edge of the dining room. She left as soon as they were situated, and McCree turned to Hanzo as soon as she was out of sight.

“Why did ya lie ta her about it bein’ my birthday? I told ya it was a few months ago.”

“I am sure you will find out before the night is over.” Hanzo pulled his menu up in front of him, ending the conversation.

McCree went back to looking around the dining room, looking at the pictures of cowboys and horses all over the walls. On one wall was a taxidermized bull head, which was cool. Everything was just like it was in the videos he used to watch as a kid, and he loved it. There had never been any Texas Roadhouses in New Mexico, or even in Texas. Most of them were in the Eastern U.S., trailing from Ohio down to Florida. By the time he was old enough to go over to any of them, the chain had gone bankrupt and closed all its locations. All of them, besides this one apparently.

“Howdy, long time no see!” A small blonde woman appeared at the end of the table, perky and wearing a cowboy hat. “Are we gettin’ some drinks today?”

“Just a coke.” Hanzo smiled at her, and she turned to McCree.

“And for you sir?”

“Coke is fine.” McCree glanced up at her, making eye contact long enough to smile before going back to his menu.

“Alrighty, I’ll be right back with those.” The waitress left as quickly as she appeared, and Hanzo looked over his menu at the other man.

“What sort of steak do you want, Jesse?”

“Steak?” McCree had found himself in the chicken section, trying to justify spending $18 on chicken strips.

“Yes. You are going to get a steak. Perhaps some potatoes, and a vegetable. Why, what did you think you were doing?”

“I was just thinkin’ that I can’t afford nothin’ on this menu, is all.”

“It is a good thing that you are not paying then, is it not?”

“Han...”

“It is your birthday, remember?” Hanzo gave him a smirk, and McCree shook his head in response.

“I still don’t know why you’re doin’ that.”

“Patience, cowboy.” Hanzo went back to his menu then, laying it on the table instead of holding it in front of his face. “What about this?” He pointed to the biggest steak on the menu, a T-bone that was the size of a grown man’s head.

“Oh, I ain’t never eaten one a them.” McCree stared at it on his menu, his conscience arguing that that was too much of a luxury. “I don’t think I can justify that, though.”

“I can.” Hanzo closed his menu as the waitress reappeared at their table, setting down tall glasses of iced coke. “We are ready, Cindy.”

“Alright, what kind a steak do y’all want?”

“I uh,” McCree looked down at his menu, still not convinced that he was worthy of an actual steak. Hanzo took his menu from him in the next minute, handing both of them to the waitress.

“Give him the largest, juiciest steak you have, some mashed potatoes, and whatever green vegetable you have the most of. And I will have a ribeye, the one with the bone, with broccoli and potatoes with cheese. Anything else Jesse?”

“No that uh, that sounds great.” McCree was taken aback at the ease in which he ordered, and the fact that he knew the waitress by name just proved that he had indeed been here multiple times before.

“Okay, I’ll put that in and get right back to ya!” The waitress left for a second time, leaving the men alone again.

“This don’t seem like you, ya know that right?” McCree leaned over the table, trying to get closer to Hanzo.

“This is just like me. This is one of my favorite places to eat. Also, I love the western theme. I used to watch westerns to improve my English, but I had to speak in the formal way I was taught to please my father. I can speak like you, if I wanted to.”

“Really?” McCree smiled at him, thinking about what that would sound like. Hanzo, with a country accent? That might be too much.

“Yes.” Hanzo reached across the table then, taking McCree’s hat from him and putting it on his head instead. “Now I look like a cowboy too.”

“You look real cute in that.” McCree stared at him, a wide smile on his face. The other man was still wearing his usual clothes, so he wasn’t really matching. If he just looked above his shoulders, though, he did look like a cowboy. He couldn’t help but find that attractive.

“I do look real cute.” Hanzo tipped the hat to him, and McCree laughed.

The two of them sat talking until the food came, Hanzo purposefully talking in a more relaxed manner to impress McCree. The waitress brought their food out when it was ready, setting it down before them. Both plates looked amazing, and McCree started to get emotional as he realized that he really was here.

“Ya know, I’ve seen the same set a commercials for this joint since I was a kid, and I didn’t believe that everythin’ would actually look this nice.” McCree cut into his steak, a soft medium-well. “I ain’t never had a real steak before, Han.”

“I can tell.”

Hanzo let his food sit, deciding instead to watch McCree deal with his. The other man ate the piece he had cut off, fully savoring all of it before going for another piece. He took a bite from the green beans they brought him too, a look of surprise on his face at how good they tasted. Next he tried the potatoes, his whole body enjoying every bit of it. Hanzo just smiled at him, loving his reactions.

“You’re so cute.” Hanzo reached across the table, running his thumb over the arm McCree wasn’t using.

“Ya think so?” McCree stuck another forkful of beans in his mouth, smiling at the other man as he chewed.

“I know so. You’re going to cry.”

“I’m goin’ ta cry? What makes ya think that?” McCree shoveled some potatoes into his face, giving Hanzo a quizzical look.

“I can’t tell you.” Hanzo smiled more, intent on keeping his secret. “Just finish your dinner.”

McCree worked hard on his meal, and eventually Hanzo did too. Once they were both finished, Hanzo stacked the plates at the head of the table and leaned over it with his hands wrapped in McCree’s.

“Jesse, you told me you’ve never ridden a horse before, haven’t you?”

“Nah, I see ‘em on TV do that, but I don’t do it.”

“So you have never ridden a bull or anything?”

“Nope, only thing I ride is the train, and I don’t even get inside it.”

“Perfect.” He let go of the other man’s hands as the waitress came back and picked up the plates.

“Boys, I hear it’s someone’s birthday today.” She smiled down at McCree, who tried to smile back without seeming suspicious.

“Sure is.”

“Why don’t you two come with me for a minute?”

She turned around, and Hanzo stood. McCree gave him a look, standing up as well but not understanding. Was it time to go? They hadn’t paid a bill or anything. He let himself be led to the back of the restaurant, where Cindy motioned them through a door. McCree was confused, but Hanzo was smiling at him so he knew it wasn’t leading to somewhere bad.

“Wait right here.” The waitress left them in front of a large door then, going to put the plates away and returning with a key. She let them through the door as soon as she got back, which opened into a dirt arena. “I’m sure y’all know where ta go from here, so have fun!”

She left through the large door then, and McCree looked around helplessly. They seemed to still be indoors by the fact the arena was lit up, but all that was there was a big fence and a dirt floor. Hanzo took his hand, leading him around the side where a couple men were talking. They both looked up when the other two got in range, waving a hand toward them as if they were best friends.

“You will need this back.” Hanzo took off the hat he had stolen from McCree, handing it back to him. McCree put it back on, wary as to why he would need his hat back.

“‘Ey!” One of the men came up to them, clapping his hands on their shoulders. “You ain’t been here for a good minute! This time ya brought a real cowboy with ya! Is he for us?”

“Do whatever you want with him, I have no use for him for the next few minutes.” Hanzo turned to McCree with a smile, excusing himself and going back the way they came.

“I uh, what did he mean by that?” McCree looked at this man worriedly, not sure what “whatever you want” meant.

“You ever ridden anythin’?” The man stepped back and looked him up and down, evaluating him by some secret scale.

“Not any animals, no.”

“A cowboy who ain’t ridden anythin’ ain’t a real cowboy, no matter how he dresses. Come ‘ere, me an’ Jim’ll get ya set up.”

The man turned back to walk toward where the other man had waited, and McCree followed close behind. He didn’t have any idea what would happen next, and without Hanzo next to him smiling he felt a little scared. He followed the two men around a corner of the big fence, right into a dead end. He froze as soon as he rounded the corner, immediately faced with an actual live bull.

“Oh my god.” He looked around, knowing that he must’ve took a wrong turn. Was he really here? Was this real? The two other men motioned him over, and he went as fast as he could while still trying to cope with this reality.

“This’n, his name is Bruno. He ain’t killed anyone yet, so we think he’d be good for ya.”

“Bruno...” McCree stood with his mouth open, less than a foot away from an animal he had only seen on television. “I get to? I’m goin’ ta?”

“You want ta ride him?” The first man smiled wide, patting a hand against the bull.

“I ain’t a real cowboy till I ride him, right? I got to.”

“Hell yeah you got to!” The second man spoke up, climbing on top of the gate separating them from the large animal. “Get up here ya wanna-be!”

McCree laughed, more excited than he could ever remember being. He climbed up the fence with him, sitting just over it since he didn't know how to proceed. The man verbally walked him through it while McCree nodded his head continually. This was the coolest thing he’d ever done, and he couldn’t wait to start. He finally was able to get on the beast, giddy and holding on tighter than he thought he should. He looked around, noticing that Hanzo had gone above them in some makeshift stands to watch. This was amazing.

“Alright, ya ready? We got a clown out there so don’t worry about fallin’ off. Just get up, and get out.” The man gave him a firm pat on his shoulder, and he was ready. “Three, two, one!”

In the next instant he was off, fighting to hold on to this bull that only wanted him off. This was more than he had ever dreamed of, and he excitedly threw a hand into the air. It was beyond fun, but he could feel himself slipping off. Just a little longer, if he could hold onto this rush for just another minute...

He closed his eyes as he fell to the ground, hurrying to get back up and make his escape. He looked back for just a second, catching a glimpse of the brightly colored rodeo clown distract the angry bull while he ran. He made it out quickly, throwing himself back to the ground to breathe again. Nothing in the world could ever beat that feeling he just had, and the more he thought about it the more he wanted to cry. Hanzo had been right, he was going to cry over this.

Hanzo made it to his side before the two men, who were stuck getting the bull back in the pen. He sat down next to McCree, running a hand over his back while he laid face down in the dirt. He couldn’t help but smile, loving how happy the other man was. McCree picked his head up eventually, wiping his nose from all the crying he was doing and looking up into Hanzo’s face.

“I love you, ain’t nothin’ in those ads or home videos ever had this in it, I can’t believe I just did that! I just rode that thing, an’ I’m here, an’...” McCree got up more, wrapping his arms around the other man and holding him close. Hanzo held him back, not caring that now both of them would be covered in dirt. “Thank you so much Han, this was the most amazin’ thing I’ve ever done.”

“Do you want to come back for your actual birthday?”

“Han, I want ta come back for every birthday.”

 


End file.
